


Dear Diary.

by commodorepeppers



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Dark Humor, Obsession, Swearing, suicide references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 21:23:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17885453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commodorepeppers/pseuds/commodorepeppers
Summary: Only idiots keep diaries.





	Dear Diary.

Dear Diary.

I don't know why I'm writing in this. It's a stupid idea. The Doctor keeps one. So shall I. I have crash landed on a Mondasian Colony Ship. Planning to take over tomorrow. Should be fun. Time to live as a king again. All that madness in the wasteland is behind me. That was a stressful day of course. The whole Gallifrey returning brought a sweat out. Shoving a few white point stars down that twats throat helped relieve some of the stress. But play hero is no fun. How many heroes grasp the doctor's attention. NONE. The old Prime Minister destroying the sycorax. Hero! Forgotten. That boring girl who saved him from the Weeping Angels. HERO! Forgotten. But will the Doctor ever forget me. Villainy is the only way of grasping his attention. He'll come running. Watch.

 

Dear Diary.

Not going well. Been a whole year since I wrote in this. I forgot about it to be completely honest. Living like a king does pass the time haha. Sadly I have been usurped. The citizens of this disgusting ship rebelled against me and I was forced to go into hiding. Also, the Doctor DIDN'T come. I was being an arse for a whole year and the idiot didn't even notice. Probably too busy snogging some earth girls or partying with Winston Churchill and other freakoids. Need to grab his attention another way.

 

Dear Diary.

YES. It's been a few weeks and guess what! He's here. And he's got more friends than before. Some bald cunt and two chicks. One of the ladies was shot. Ouchie. They've brought her down to me, Mr Razor (heheh). I'll get her fixed in no time. A nice little gift for my best friend. All wrapped up!

 

Dear Diary.

I swear to Omega! It is taking every inch of my being to not slice the bitch up. She never shuts that trap of hers. Lucy was never a talker. She would be silent. Even when she shot me. Bill would probably shoot you and ask how your nan was. I've only been with her a few days and I'm going insane! Can't wait another 9 years and 363 days until chatterbox becomes less... chatty. Don't ask why it's gonna take ten years for me to finally unveil my plan. It's a work in progress. You'll see.

 

Dear Diary.

THE OTHER CHICK IS ME. Disgusting. Women. Hate them. Wouldn't wanna be one. No choice now though. Also she dabbed. I had to watch that for about 5 fucking hours. Don't know if thats worse than changing into a woman to be honest. Bill's gotten less annoying. Starting to like her a bit. Shut up. Hate her. She's awful. Anyway. Gonna kill the boring shit soon. No. Yes!

 

Dear Diary.

The big day is here. Bill's currently going through conversion. I will miss her. Nah. Good riddance. It'll be worth the wait. His face is gonna be so hilarious. Also Lady Version seems to be a bit of a goody two shoes. I'll murder the egg, turn her back into the evil maniac she's supposed to be and give the doctor his gift. Busy day!

 

Dear Diary.

Well. Don't know how to put it. Doctor didn't appreciate my gift. I got stabbed. I got shot. Both by me. Suicide really was never my thing but it was pretty fun to kill me. Both times I imagine. Anyway. Hands glowing. Time to change. Hope Lady Version doesn't find this. Spoilers and all that. Goodbye. Or hello? Or both? Or neither? Shut up.


End file.
